Why are Laptops so difficult? Seriously. Glad I have an assistant!

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Sleeping beauty

True, sleeping beauty was some girl in the storybooks, but if you knew the real sleeping beauty, you’d know it was me.  It’s a real daydream unlike yours which is composed of a laptop, probably a cubicle, uncomfortable chair, and a longing to be outside to play. Don’t hate.

My first bar

On a day where I was suppose to be lounging, my owner decides to run some errands…with me. Oh boy. She carried me in her fancy pancy bag to a pet store. Whatevs. Then bought a stupid harness so then I had to walk on my own.

And since I could walk on my own, I could go to the bar with her and her bad influence friends (see’ friends’ below). How classy. Tuesday at 3:00PM with wee wee pads, dog treats, her bad influence friends, and me.

My first bar. Of course people loved me. Next.

I’m chilling in my first week at my new home. Ecstatic to get away from that annoying pet shop containing a bunch of unruly undesirables interrupting my hourly naps. Get a clue. It only took less than a week before someone scooped me up since arriving from my long journey, Nebraska —-> New York. In case I won’t be able to write a letter (my owner never has stamps), I would like to say so to my parents Cole and Alexus:

Thank you for making me so handsome and moving me to New York where I can get into the biz at such an early age! I’ll be more famous than Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Old Yeller, the Taco Bell chihuahua without a name, and the best of them. My owner will ensure sure fame does not get my head at such an early age (ehem, Marley and…whatever) by continuing to keep me humble in this so called neighborhood Williamsburg. I will TRY to be on my best behavior, although I doubt my silly owner will ever be able to train me effectively. After all, I am a Shiba Inu!

Love and yours truly,

Mr. Fox

Halle Berry

Which bitch is fiercest? I know my answer.

Paris Hilton + clan

Do you have a dog per every billionth dollar?  Also Paris, I’m starting to notice when you don’t have a guy next to you, you have an animal friend. Can’t you just be content paying the paparazzi to follow ONLY you, Solo Johanssen-style? Listen to me, you are enough. Get it together.

Mariah Carey

Who has a higher octave? I’m gonna go with mom on this one.

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